Here’s the scoop: Three snowboarders get stranded on a chairlift before their last run. As the ski patrol switches off the night lights, they realize with growing panic that they’ve been left behind dangling high off the ground with no way down.

The kicker is that the resort is closed until the following weekend, so they really have to take some action. But once they make their move, it’s clear there’s more to be afraid of than just the frigid cold.

This is why I stay away from snow sports. Emma Bell, Shawn Ashmore and Kevin Zegers star; directed by Adam Green. Check out the official movie site.

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The latest installment of the MST3K library includes four classic B movies with plenty of snark and snuffling from Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, Gypsy, Joel and Mike. Here’s the rundown:

‘The Crawling Eye’ – We saw this title and collectively decided to watch it as a family last night. It’s a 1958 film originally called ‘The Trollenberg Terror,’ which stars Forrest Tucker. The ‘F Troop’ references were rampant. It follows a weird tentacled alien creature menacing a small town high in the mountains of Switzerland. While the commentary isn’t as hilariously funny as later MST3K installments, there’s a reason for that. This is the very first network episode of MST3K made for the Comedy Channel, so it’s a cool look at the early development of the show. And of course the movie, along with a fat mountain climber, is darn funny.

More after the jump!

‘The Beatniks’ – This one will probably be next on our list to watch. It includes a short called ‘General Hospital, Pt 2,’ and the shorts are truly some of our favorite MST3K installments. Filmed in black and white in 1960, the movie follows a young man’s quest to make it as a recording artist while trying to escape from the grip of his criminally inclined childhood friends. It contains the much loved MST3K catch-phrases “Shut up, Iris, shut up I tell you!” and “I killed that fat barkeep,” along with the song, “Leather Coat.” Anything with beatniks we love; thinking of ‘The Girl in Gold Boots’ off MST3K Vol. 4.

Clip from ‘The Beatniks’:

‘The Final Sacrifice’ – The description calls this the Canadian ‘Manos: Hands of Fate’ – yes! That ranks as one of our favorite MST3K movies. ‘The Final Sacrifice’ is a 78-minute color film made in 1990, with a hero called “Zap Rowsdower.” Oh, and the writer/director’s name is Tjardus Greidanus. I have no idea how to even pronounce that.

Clip from ‘The Final Sacrifice’:

‘Blood Waters of Dr. Z’ – This 1975 horror film is known by many alternate titles, including ‘Zaat’ and ‘Dr. Z.’ It’s directed by Don Barton and stars no one you’ve ever heard of. But there’s a cheap monster and a mad scientist out for revenge against those that scoffed at his ideas. The main character looks like he’s ready for a nap. Or something.

Clip from ‘Blood Waters of Dr. Z’:

Bonus Features:

* The Crawling Eye Special Introduction By Joel Hodgson

* Mystery Science Theater Hours Wraps On The Beatniks

* Brand-New Interview With star of The Final Sacrifice Bruce J. Mitchell

* The Main Event: Crow Vs. Crow At Dragon Con 09

* Blood Waters Of Dr. Z Photo Gallery

* Original Trailers & Promos

* And More!

Image: Amazon.com

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In short, if you like slasher movies, this is a good one. This is actually the fourth installment of the "Final Destination" franchise, where over-the-top deaths, mass mayhem, and Rube Goldberg-type setups reign supreme.

The story opens at a race track, where teenager Nick (Bobby Campo) and three of his friends are watching a car race.  But Bobby has a premonition of crashing cars, explosions, and the race track toppling down on people in the bleachers. He hustles girlfriend Lori (Shantal VanSanten) and their friends out of the grandstands before the real chaos begins, but it doesn’t take long to figure out that their time is coming soon. They’re supposed to be dead! Seriously, they would have known this if they’d watched the first three "Final Destination" movies.

Anyway, the killings come fast and furious, utilizing a beauty parlor, a tow truck, a movie theater, and a swimming pool, to name a few. The stunts and kill scenes are spectacular (if you, uh, like that sort of thing), but the characters and dialogue are somewhat lame. But the death scenes must have been a blast for all the actors involved!

"The Final Destination" is directed by David R. Ellis and rated R for strong violent/gruesome accidents, language and a scene of sexuality (truly, people are having sex). Check out the official site and trailer.

Special Features include additional scenes. In case you didn’t see enough death and destruction in the movie itself.

Image: Amazon.com

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There’s a Black Plague going on, and a church dispatches two knights to take a witch to a secret abbey, where some rituals will be performed to stop the plague. It doesn’t sound good for the witch.

It’s a period movie – 14th century (love it!) – but also looks like a combo of horror, fantasy, supernatural and action. At least based on the trailer. Check out the poster.

Image: Lionsgate

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And it gets better. Shout! Factory is also producing a wide range of bonus content for special editions and double features. Collectively, it’ll be known as “Roger Corman’s Cult Classics” home entertainment series.

The first titles include the original “Piranha” to go along with this summer’s 3-D remake, as well as “Humanoids from the Deep,” “Death Race 2000” and its follow-up “Deathsport,” the punk favorite “Suburbia,” “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School,” “Up from the Depths,” Michael Beck in “Warlords of the 21st Century,” “Demon of Paradise,” the sci-fi horror flick “Forbidden World,” and the 1981 classic “Galaxy of Terror.”

An independent filmmaker and producer, Roger Corman has produced more than 350 films and directed 50 others. He’s well known for his creative, low-budget movies, as well as his ability to spot young talent.

He had a hand in the early success of Jack Nicholson, Francis Ford Coppola, Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, James Cameron, Ron Howard, Peter Fonda, Jonathan Demme, Gale Anne Hurd, Diane Ladd, Tommy Lee Jones, Sandra Bullock, Bruce Dern, Talia Shire, Charles Bronson, Joe Dante, Peter Bogdanovich and Sally Kirkland.

Are you a fan of Roger Corman films? Excited about this news? Check out the trailer for “Piranha”:

Image: Amazon.com

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I saw “The Road” a while back and found it utterly depressing. Maybe “The Book of Eli” will be a little more hopeful. That’s a tough challenge when you’re talking about the apocalypse, but it’s got Denzel Washington and Mila Kunis going for it.

Washington stars as a man fighting his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind. The movie also stars Gary Oldman, Ray Stevenson, Jennifer Beals, Michael Gambon and Tom Waits (who I totally love whether he’s singing or acting).

The movie’s in theaters this Friday, Jan. 15, 2010. Check out the premiere pics below.

Images: Bauer-Griffin

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In a “man on the street” thing, they asked people to say whose blood they’d like to suck if given the opportunity. Sarah Palin, George Bush, the cast of “Jersey Shore,” and Halle Berry (say what?) topped the list.

“Daybreakers” sinks its teeth into theaters this Friday Jan. 8, 2010. It’s directed by Michael Spierig, and Ethan Hawke is one of the players. Rated R for strong bloody violence, language and brief nudity.

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Movie: The Road * Official Site	In Theaters: Nov. 25, 2009
Runtime: 111 minutes	Directed by: John Hillcoat
MPAA Rating: R for some violence, disturbing images and language	Gecko Rating:

I feel bad for Cormac McCarthy, I really do. I don’t know how long it took him to write the book on which "The Road" is based, but any amount of time with all of that death and desperation rolling around inside your head is just tragic.

"The Road" is about a man (Viggo Mortensen) traveling across the country with his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) after an apocalyptic event. I’m guessing it’s a nuclear war, but they don’t really say in the movie and I haven’t read the book. Anyone who’s read the book, feel free to add notes in the comments below.

The boy was born on the night the event occurred, and after a few years, his mother (Charlize Theron) can’t take it anymore and wanders off into the night to die. Meanwhile the dad refuses to give up, and he and his son set off on a journey to "the coast," where they’re sure that things will be better.

More after the jump… 

On the way, every sort of unspeakable thing happens, and even if you don’t have kids, it’s hard to think of a kid seeing all of that horror – cannibalism, scrounging for food, running for their lives, illness, death and destruction. All of this is shown in fairly graphic detail, so if you’re at all squeamish about this stuff, don’t see this movie. And I mean never see this movie, even if you happen across it on TV at some point in the future. It will be hard to erase the images you see in the movie.

And apparently, a nuclear war – or whatever it is – takes out the sun and causes it to rain and be eerie gray all the time. So you’ve got all the aforementioned mayhem amidst a rainy sky and abandoned towns and homes that have been trashed beyond hope. It’s like "Life After People," only there’s still a few people around struggling to survive.

But back to Cormac McCarthy. If you’re writing or making a movie about zombies or aliens or some other thriller-type material, it’s not really likely that we’ll ever see anything like that in our lives. But a nuclear war could, in fact, actually happen. We don’t like to think about it, but let’s face it, the possibility is out there.

That’s why I feel bad for McCarthy. He had to think about what it would be like if such an event happened, and it’s not pretty. It’s dire and bleak.

"The Road" is really well done, and Viggo Mortensen turns in his usual "cut to the core" performance. Clearly, he’s not into taking lighthearted roles, but at some point, I hope he does a romantic comedy or something a little lighter than "The Road," "Eastern Promises," or "A History of Violence."

Then again, maybe Mortensen and McCarthy are like brothers separated at birth. Some artists are just born to do the heavy stuff.

Image: Amazon.com

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THE GIVEAWAY: A barrel sling duffel bag, Ouija board (halfway between cardboard and board, but still fun), clear plastic planchette (the triangle thing you move around on the Ouija board), baby powder, satin sleep mask, and a “Paranormal Activity” DVD. In short, everything you need to have a creep-tastic slumber party. Just, you know, be careful how you use all this stuff. Because you never know whom you’re inviting in. 

HOW TO ENTER: Tell me in the comments below your pick for the scariest movie OF ALL TIME! A winner will be selected at random on January 16, 2010, and notified by email. Good luck! 

Image: Special Ops Media; Amazon.com

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But I’ve gotta tell ya, I just didn’t think “Paranormal Activity” was all that scary. In fact, I watched it with my 15-year-old son, and he didn’t think it was all that scary either. We laughed most of the way through it, and added our own MST3K comments (“That’s the noisiest demon we’ve ever heard! Why is he stomping around? Can’t he fly?”)

If you’re not familiar with the story,  the Oren Peli-directed “thriller” follows young couple Katie and Micah, who are experiencing some strange things in their house – which is quite a nice house, by the way, for such a young couple. She’s a student and he’s a day trader, but never seems to do any work other than chase after demons with his video camera.

More after the jump…

So yeah, when they figure out they’re being haunted by a demon, he sets up his camcorder in their room at night to capture what happens after they fall asleep. Doors slam, powdered footprints enter their room, etc. etc. Things get worse, and eventually, they get really worse.

The movie was made for $15K, and you have to wonder what they spent the cash on, because really, anyone with a camcorder could have made this film. My son and I both agreed the last few seconds of the movie were somewhat frightening, but it’s not like we weren’t expecting it. I wonder if people think it’s scary for precisely that reason – because it seems like a film that any one of us could have shot for real … with a real demon.

What do you guys think? Was “Paranormal Activity” frightening for you?

Images: Copyright, Paramount Pictures

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